The Rollercoaster of Life

I just did one of those things where I looked at the word "rollercoaster" for so long (trying to figure out if it ought to be one word or two) that it turned into garble and no longer resembled any sort of word at all. So is it rollercoaster or roller coaster? Oh hell, who cares, it's Monday morning.

This past weekend was great! As always, it was way too short, and it's yet another day where I wish I could forgo this oppressive nine-to-five lifestyle and spend all my time traveling the world and doing everything else that I have always dreamed of doing someday. After work on Friday, I drove up to Cleveland to see Alex, and we went out to a very fancy-schmancy dinner to celebrate his birthday (because apparently la lampada del Rossi was not celebration enough). We ran lots of errands and had a little Halloween party on Saturday, but then yesterday we woke up at the crack of dawn and drove to CEDAR POINT! For anyone who doesn't know what Cedar Point is, it's only, like, the most AMAZING amusement park on the face of the EARTH (other than Disney World...that's just a whole other ballgame). There are tons of rollercoasters, carnival-type rides (ferris wheels, carousels, many spinning rides that will make you green in the gills), a water park, etc. We had both been there before, but it had been a while so it was pretty exciting to be back. It was the very last day before the park closed for the year, and I half-expected it to be jam-packed with thrill-seekers looking for that one last fix before the long, cold months of winter really began. Not that it wasn't absolutely freezing yesterday--it was. But the total lack of people meant that we could basically walk right on to any ride we wanted, so there wasn't a lot of time to stand around and think about how bone-chilling the wind was as it came off Lake Erie.

My favorite ride was Top Thrill Dragster, which is the second-fastest rollercoaster in the world. Similar to a jet on an airline carrier, your "car" is hurled by a cable from 0 to 120 MPH in four seconds. The track goes 42 stories straight up into the air, then twists as you plummet straight back down. I think the ride takes something like 30 seconds, but holy smokes it is INCREDIBLE! I had never been on it before yesterday, and we decided to do it right...which meant we waited even longer to claim the coveted front seats in the train. It was well-worth it, though, because it's like you're flying at the speed of light. Even the bug that left its orange guts on Alex's cheek would have agreed on how cool it was.My LEAST favorite ride was Mean Streak, which is this old wooden rollercoaster waaaay in the back of the park. It's old and rickety and made my teeth rattle and my neck hurt like the dickens. Oh, and we got stuck on it for what seemed like ages (but was probably only twenty minutes). Right. The guy behind us started to freak out and tried to extract himself from the clamp thinger that comes down over your thighs, but he was puny and had no luck (which was good...I don't know where he expected to go once he was free). I thought about beginning a rousing round of Row Row Row Your Boat to keep the mood light as I debated eating my left hand to assuage the (mostly imaginary) hunger pains I began to develop. That led to horrifying thoughts of seagulls eventually realizing we were there and eating us alive, but thankfully that never happened. The view was quite lovely though, and after a while our train kicked back to life and took us safely to the unloading area. We were never told why we were left for dead way up in the sky, but I think some kid in the train in front of ours ralphed as he was getting out. I hope no one actually kissed the floor with relief when we were finally back on solid ground, because it was soaking wet and smelled very strongly of disinfectant. Later in the day, we were in the waiting area for the Old West mine rollercoaster and saw some other kid lose his lunch as he got out of his seat. I don't know if we are cursed or what, but when Alex asked if I wanted to stick around and wait for them to clean up and begin loading passengers again, I said a very fast notsomuchkthanksbye through the air-purifying sleeve of my sweatshirt.

Come to think of it, I think maybe we are cursed. Cursed with puking. We were indirectly involved in those two incidents yesterday, and a third occurred Friday night after dinner. We were catching up with Alex's roommate, when one of Steve's friends just got up from the couch and hurled in the kitchen sink. It was a weird moment (she was absolutely hammered, so not a surprising moment, per say) where we all just looked at her for a minute, then shrugged and went back to our conversation. And yes, eventually Steve did go take care of his friend and help her into bed. But isn't that strange?! I think a pox has been put upon us. Dang it. At lunch I'll have to go buy some witch hazel and eye of newt and consult my friendly potions book to figure out how to have it removed. Ughhhh what a hassle.

UPDATE:
I just re-read this post. I don't mean to sound crass or gross with all that talk of stomach upset-edness. But you know what? Sometimes LIFE IS GROSS.

And so to end on a positive note, here is a picture of a puppy that I will someday own and hopefully not smother to death with kisses: