Something is Rotten in the State of Denmark

Or rather, something is rotten here at HQ. Very rotten. What is it with smells and this office??? First, we've got Francis the Farter constantly exposing us to the most disgusting, eye-watering flatulence that I have ever experienced. Then, as soon as Winnie the Pooh started doing the head-secretary stuff down here, I kept getting whiffs of dog food. In my (accidental) eavesdropping, I have learned that she has at least two dogs and at least two cats...that's a LOTTA pet food, no wonder the scent sticks to her like white on rice. Girl needs to get herself some Febreeze!

But today, a different scent has been attacking my nostrils. It's not as bad as farts or dog food...but I just can't figure out WHY it smells like broccoli down here. Up until a couple of months ago, I never knew that broccoli emitted a smell when you cooked it. Perhaps that's because I don't cook a whole lot of broccoli, I usually just throw it on the top of salads. But one night, my old roommate Ashley cooked up some broccoli for dinner, and a couple of hours later some guy friends came over for our weekly snack night. As soon as they walked in, they pinched their noses and said something to the effect of, "What the eff is that smell?!" And then Ashley and I learned that broccoli smells bad when you cook it. Ever since, this theory has been proven every time my roommates or I cook the green stuff.But I digress. Today, the office smells like someone took a huge pot of broccoli and boiled it for an hour and then left it sitting out in the open. Why? Why is this? Isn't this an office? Why are people cooking BROCCOLI instead of doing what I'm sure is super-important work? And if they have some super-important work, would it be too much to ask that they offload some of that onto me? This summer is going so slowwwwww.