No, my beef with the show is the CLOTHES. Not the clothes that the dancers wear, because I understand that dancing outfits are a breed entirely their own and I can't begin to comprehend what combination of sparkles, spandex, teased hair, and heels create a stellar look. I would just like to talk to SYTYCD's host, Cat Deeley. I have no idea who this Brit is, though IMDB tells me that she is famous for being a host/presenter/correspondent on various shows. She has had no real acting parts...she always plays Herself (it's sort of funny to look at her Filmography on IMDB, because every entry is followed by "...Herself" and then that becomes one of those words that if you look at it long enough, it turns into gobbledy-gook and no longer looks like a word at all).
Cat is a very attractive, Amazon-like gal. She seems to be about seven feet tall, with "legs up to here" as Bridget Jones would say as she put a hand up to her own shoulder. Throughout the season, there have been some normal dresses (on the Cat Deeley Scale of Dress Heinousness anyway) and there have been some HORRIBLE dresses. I'm a little miffed right now that I can't actually find any pictures of Miss Deeley online other than at Fox's website, and for some reason I can't copy and paste those. So here is the link to their site (click on Pictures). Last night's dress was the absolute worst of the season. It was a washed-out brown strapless number, though the top half of it was actually fine. But as soon as it hit her waist, the thing poofed out like an umbrella covered in darker brown gauze and other frilly things. As EW's critiquer put it:
My colleague Alynda Wheat said it looked as if Cat had been caught in flagrante delicto with an ostrich. To me, it came off like what Santino Rice made in the Project Runway "children's books" episode when he was assigned James and the Giant Peach. (Michael Kors: "I'd say that's more screechy than peachy.") And you'd think that with those 20-some pounds of lace and satin piled layer upon layer into a ballooning caricature of Cat's hip bones, the sound department could've found a slightly less conspicuous spot for Cat's ungainly mike pack than just clumsily sticking out the back. Really, though, the whole thing's got me totally flummoxed; it was so over-the-top, so mesmerizing in its multifaceted daffiness that I can't for the life of me decide whether its wearer is a brilliantly self-aware comedienne willing to go to any and all lengths for our amusement, or an attention-grabbing, epically self-absorbed fame junkie who cannot under any circumstances let anyone shine more brightly than herself. Probably more than a little of both.
Well said. Though he left out the fact that she had forced her long blonde locks into thick cornrows that wrapped around her head and were fastened with palm-sized butterflies on the side. WTF, Cat? For serious, you're wearing BUTTERFLIES in your hair? IMDB tells me you are 30 years old, you should know better by now, even if you DID grow up in England. If Catharine Zeta-Jones and Maggie Smith and my idol Kate Winslet and Judi Dench and even Keira Knightly and all the other British thespians can manage to keep fake insects out of their hair, especially when they are on tv, then you can too.
If I find some pictures of her hellacious outfit from last night's show, I'll post them. Maybe there aren't any online because they burn out the pupils of anyone who looks at them for too long. Or turn people into zombies. I bet a horror movie will come out about this...it'll be like The Ring meets 28 Days Later and it'll be the most frightening two hours of my life.


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